Me: shit depends on what you want
i cant express how much i hate fucking bees
then stop fucking bees???? it’s really a simple solution
if she’s even able to walk after sex you didnt do it right
yeah you’re supposed to cut her legs off
Anonymous asked: Has a girl ever made you cry?
Yeah, one time I came out of my moms vagina and I cried.
Why am I smoking I hate smoking
Don’t smoke kids
i would never smoke my children you horrid monster
have you ever not liked someone in a romantic way and everything is cool and all then they do something small like touch your shoulder or say something funny and you just kind of freeze and think
I wish I had the ability to make boys really nervous
holding a really sharp knife to their neck usuallly does the trick for me
as a boy I can confirm that this makes me really nervous
I don’t friend zone people, I relationship zone them. You wanna be my friend? Too bad, we’re dating.
I feel as if this symbolizes the fact that she’s under so much stress to be beautiful
Or she’s stoned as fuck
Or she stabbed herself in the eye with the brush
Or she’s crying because for once she got the volume her mascara brand promised her
Or maybe its just a picture with cool contrast meant to give off an eerie and creepy vibe.
Or maybe shes a SPACE ALIEN
Or maybe she has allergies
Or maybe it’s maybelline
do you think that mosquitos dare their friends to bite somebody with bugspray on
no, because mosquitos don’t have the mind to be able to communicate in such complex ways.
oh im sorry i didnt know u were the worlds top mosquito expert excuse me
The sexual tension between two people when one of them says “make me”
how to be an adult
im sad this was so short because he was about to go so hard
when you’re horny and your boyfriend isnt