Teacher: how much is a gram?
Me: shit depends on what you want

436,743 notes ! Reblog ! 8 months ago

i cant express how much i hate fucking bees 

then stop fucking bees???? it’s really a simple solution

(Source: foodchewer)


168,924 notes ! Reblog ! 9 months ago

if she’s even able to walk after sex you didnt do it right

yeah you’re supposed to cut her legs off 

(Source: meladoodle)


588,414 notes ! Reblog ! 9 months ago

2,356 notes ! Reblog ! 9 months ago

Anonymous said: Has a girl ever made you cry?

imathewjames:

Yeah, one time I came out of my moms vagina and I cried.


115 notes ! Reblog ! 9 months ago

Why am I smoking I hate smoking

Don’t smoke kids

i would never smoke my children you horrid monster

(Source: evaunit08)


16,171 notes ! Reblog ! 9 months ago

have you ever not liked someone in a romantic way and everything is cool and all then they do something small like touch your shoulder or say something funny and you just kind of freeze and think

oh

oh no

(Source: oliveoilorangejuice)


380,807 notes ! Reblog ! 9 months ago

I wish I had the ability to make boys really nervous

holding a really sharp knife to their neck usuallly does the trick for me

as a boy I can confirm that this makes me really nervous

(Source: foodtrucker)


659,126 notes ! Reblog ! 10 months ago

I don’t friend zone people, I relationship zone them. You wanna be my friend? Too bad, we’re dating.

(Source: flygoing)


429,826 notes ! Reblog ! 10 months ago








I feel as if this symbolizes the fact that she’s under so much stress to be beautiful

Or she’s stoned as fuck

Or she stabbed herself in the eye with the brush

Or she’s crying because for once she got the volume her mascara brand promised her

Or maybe its just a picture with cool contrast meant to give off an eerie and creepy vibe. 

Or maybe shes a SPACE ALIEN

Or maybe she has allergies

Or maybe it’s maybelline

I feel as if this symbolizes the fact that she’s under so much stress to be beautiful

Or she’s stoned as fuck

Or she stabbed herself in the eye with the brush

Or she’s crying because for once she got the volume her mascara brand promised her

Or maybe its just a picture with cool contrast meant to give off an eerie and creepy vibe. 

Or maybe shes a SPACE ALIEN

Or maybe she has allergies

Or maybe it’s maybelline

(Source: longtonguedbrain)


591,221 notes ! Reblog ! 10 months ago

do you think that mosquitos dare their friends to bite somebody with bugspray on

no, because mosquitos don’t have the mind to be able to communicate in such complex ways.

oh im sorry i didnt know u were the worlds top mosquito expert excuse me

(Source: egberts)


204,310 notes ! Reblog ! 10 months ago

The sexual tension between two people when one of them says “make me”

(Source: goobsohard)


496,654 notes ! Reblog ! 10 months ago

how to be an adult

im sad this was so short because he was about to go so hard

(Source: iamtheoppositeofamnesia)


511,712 notes ! Reblog ! 10 months ago


when you’re horny and your boyfriend isnt

HAHA

when you’re horny and your boyfriend isnt

HAHA

(Source: weheartit.com)


280,101 notes ! Reblog ! 10 months ago

Holy shit our lungs are crazy

(Source: arsanatomica)


346,199 notes ! Reblog ! 10 months ago
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